Friday, April 24, 2009

Girl Friday, get your act together

On the one hand, I should hate today. On the other hand, I am so far beyond amused at today.

I was running late for work, and I was kinda irritated. I was in a rush and needed to park, so when I saw three open spots across the street my workplace, I pulled in. Quick. One could argue that it was a little TOO QUICK, but those people would just be asking for me to lay down some ass-whupping because you do not get to tease me about my driving skillz. Which are plentiful, I swear.

Because, you see, I pulled in a little too fast, and somehow the angle of the turn and the speed of the car caused me TO HOP THE CURB SO BADLY THAT I KILLED MY TIRE. 


Two OU employees were walking by and turned to stare, a mix of shock and amusement on their faces. My tire had made a decent 'pop' sound when it hit the curb. I knew it was dead. So I just sat there and laughed. I felt like this woman in a recent episode of Grey's Anatomy, the woman who is yelling "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" every single time she gets bad news. As if the world is falling down around her ears and every time she gets a handle on it, a curve ball gets tossed in her face.

I got out of the car and surveyed the tire, some part of me accepting the inevitable. And, yep, there it was: a two-to-three inch long tear in the rubber, all the way through the 'sidewall,' according to my dad. In the space of time it took me to explain to my dad what had happened, all of the air drained out of my tire. ALL OF IT. 

My boss let me move the car to our back parking lot, which was nice considering that it meant my other boss had to park in a spot meant for the people that rent the apartments above the shop. My dad came, checked the tire, declared it dead (which, HELLO? I TOLD YOU IT WAS!), picked up a replacement (artfully forging my signature, I am sure), and replaced it.

So that was my morning. 


I decided to just park my car in a local neighborhood for the rest of the day and just walk anywhere I needed to go. On my way to Chinese class, I saw a bicyclist get hit by a van. Once I saw the biker was okay, I laughed.

NOW, before you start saying I am a horrible person or anything like that, let me just point out that Athens bicyclists are more-often-than-not assholes of the best order. They are uppity and rude and obey NONE of the rules that they are supposed to. Oh, and they rarely wear helmets.

In this case, a van was waiting to turn left. Clear as day, blinker going and everything. It finally had a clear shot to turn and this bike came out of nowhere and basically got toppled over by the van. That's the best way to describe it. I heard an 'aaah,' which was more of 'whoa, what the hell, you mean there are CARS on ROADS?' scream of surprise, not one of pain. I screamed in shock, frightening my poor dad (who I was on the phone with), and walked closer to make sure the girl was okay. The business owner of where the van was going came out and asked if she needed to call 911 as a few cars stopped to see if they should help. The poor van driver stood there, looking panicked and upset.

The bicyclist stood up. "I'm fine, I'm fine, okay?" she snapped. Okay, fine, she was hit by a car, SHE IS TOTALLY FINE, SURE. Then she picked up her bike, popped it up and down once or twice and loudly declared, "YOU MESSED UP MY BIKE!"

Really? You came up on the LEFT SIDE of a vehicle when it was waiting to turn LEFT, you weren't wearing a helmet, you aren't letting anyone call 911, and you're pissed because your bike got messed up?

I just had to laugh. I mean, really? Of all the things you could be upset about, you choose to be angry that your bike isn't properly aligned anymore? Sure, she could have been in shock, but her reaction was just too ridiculous. 

I'm almost afraid to see what the rest of the night will be like. 

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